i don't celebrate valentine but it's hard not to get into the mood because it's my cousin's birthday YO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEST FRIEND SLASH SCREAM SCREAM PARTNER i'm sorry not sorry that i dragged you into krisho and also shinee because you got me into /this/ hell in the first place so it's basically karma but i love you and please keep being my late night screaming partner!! also i hope you will develop a better... sense for korean men since we often cry at your bias choices... and your bias list makes me very sad... LASTLY let's just pretend somewhere only we know never happened ok hugs u a lot. buys u a shitload of tissues. u need it.

/deep sigh/ it's just the second month out of twelve. too early to speculate things but i don't think this month has been good to me enough. i'm slowly losing my creativity and i still haven't worked on my portfolio and stuff and i'm running low on everything like literally everything and i'm slowly losing the will to get up and do things because i know i won't be into it and i'm gonna fail and i'm gonna make myself even more sadder ugh i could really use a break right now ;___;

but enough mellowing since i promised myself i won't be diagnosed with depression, ever. here ya go - this month's pick; songs that get me into the valentine mood!

symptoms shinee

these bad symptoms appeared after i met you,
i’m left alone on this black night
in my room that’s filled with thoughts of you

this is love super junior

the reason i like you?
well, to explain it,
our love is a happiness that is faster than andante

love, love, love exo

i can see the future
it can’t be if it’s not you
to you who made me reborn, incredible

hot times s.m. the ballad

i miss you even when you’re beside me
that my heart burns just at the thought of you
that I shed tears from the words “I love you”

Labels: music, sotm

nothing really interesting just me and my sleeping problems, really... i just installed a yellow lamp above my bed a few weeks ago, and i haven't turned on my room's lamp ever since. it makes me feel a whole lot better for some reason.

(also i lost my music sense i'm so sorry i'm trying so hard to cool down my kpop fever) but here are songs i put on replay most this month:

déjà-boo jonghyun ft. zion.t

i definitely saw you somewhere before
it doesn’t matter when i saw you
i can’t even remember where i saw you

mono-drama jonghyun

daydreaming about this by myself is okay
i know it's funny to compare myself,
even i think i'm pathetic

selene 6.23 shinee

so i called you with a fluttering heart
but there’s no answer –
i guess i can never reach you

let me know bangtan boys

it’s not that i still have feelings for you
i know we can’t work out
but why does it feel like i’m having indigestion?

i would like to thank not only God but also kim jonghyun for going solo and releasing base and consider yourselves lucky i didn't put all of the songs in here (probably next month... lmao) hopefully next month will feature happier/lighter songs since it's valentine month and even though i don't celebrate i like to get into the mood

— fun fact: jonghyun wrote three out of four songs listed above

Labels: music, sotm

yak kenapa judulnya miracles in december (inisial putri wardani dan priscilia diem aja) karena biasanya bulan ini gue tobat dan jadi produktif alias nyelesein semua remed dan tugas bolong (lol) dan libur jadi bisa ngelakuin apapun yang gabisa gue lakuin pas hari sekolah, dan pada sebelas bulan lainnya gue kembali jadi manusia normal.

tapi 2014 udah mau selese aja ya... kayaknya baru kemaren gue hunting kembang api di atap rumah sambil nelpon orang-orang ngucapin selamat tahun baru. kayaknya semalem jerman baru menang piala dunia dan gue nangis bahagia sama kiki disekolah.

it's been a wild ride. gue menemukan perubahan-perubahan yang langsung maupun nggak langsung dalam diri gue yang cukup signifikan; pelan-pelan gue kontrol perasaan gue, dan insyaAllah sampe detik ini satu-satunya hal yang ngga bisa gue kontrol cuma isi dompet, sama (kadang) jam tidur. tapi emang pada dasarnya hati gue lemah (apa sih) dan gue susah nahan air mata, jadi menurut gue ini udah merupakan penghargaan tersendiri.

gue sekarang rajin mem-filter orang-orang yang begini dan begitu. mulai dari siapa-siapa yang gue percaya buat gue titipin rahasia, orang-orang yang bisa jadi temen fangirling, orang-orang yang pemikirannya searah sama gue, dan berbagai macam lainnya.

2015 - tahun penentuan. gue ada feeling selama enam bulan gue bakal mandek depan meja belajar nyicil portofolio. i have a dream, i've made plenty of errors and i've seen many obstacles upfront but let's just do this. i'm not known for making second choices or backups anyway. when i fix my eyes on something, i have to get it. i don't need any more distractions.

tujuh bulan dari sekarang gue bakal dapet ktp (dan semakin gue pikirin prospek punya ktp serem juga). jujur dulu gue bahagia banget soal tumbuh dewasa dan gue mikir dapet ktp itu pertanda gue bakal dianggep dewasa karena gue emang yang termuda di rumah ini dan gue selalu pengen dianggep sesuai umur gue, bukan anak kecil yang kalo ikut nimbrung soal politik malah dianggep sok tau atau dibilang 'pinter banget kamu kok bisa tau kayak gituan??' tapi pas h-365 keatas gue mulai nyadar, fuck, gue bisa ditangkep kalo gue ngatain sembarangan orang.

new year new me my ass, gue lagi enak sama diri gue sendiri yang sekarang, gue cuma butuh sedikit fix disini dan disitu. intinya resolusi 2015:

• hargain ortu
• rajin ibadah
• rajin ngerjain tugas (crowd laughter)
• PORTOFOLIO
• nabung (also crowd laughter)
• kontrol berat badan
• cari hobi lagi
• terus ngasah skill
• third language
• PRODUKTIVITAS UP UP
• dosis kafein... tolong... down 
• dosis cogan berduabelas juga tolong... kurangin...

(count: 12)

yak mari kita lihat dari 12 ini yang gue pertahankan sampe akhir 2015 kira-kira berapa (taruhan gue: 0).

--

untuk 2 orang, first and foremost

the days are nice. although at certain times i feel rather restrained. sometimes i just don't know whether to say what's on my mind because for reasons you are clearly oblivious. 

untuk 3 orang, dengan jarak yang beda-beda

first person: first and foremost i'd like to punch you for dragging me into this hellhole but then again thank you for being a good friend during nights when i'm unable to sleep (i'll treat you to bubble tea later when you're over)

second person: we don't get to see each other often but i hope that you learn how to act mature since your age indicates that you're no longer a child (i'll also treat you to bubble tea)

third person: hi, it's been at least six years. i remember that you still couldn't form coherent words and here i am, being shown videos of you telling how good your day was - i wonder, if they asked about me, would you remember? anyway, i'd love to meet you soon (i bet you love bubble tea)

untuk 5 orang, dengan aura konversasi yang tiap saat berubah mulai dari pelajaran sampe h2h

thank you for lending me your shoulders and being supportive despite my constant whining, it's actually pretty sad how we're all busy doing our own thing compared to last year but i believe that our bonds are still strong and i hope each of us accomplishes our goal and also i hope to not drift away from each other despite our busy schedules.

untuk beberapa orang, yang pernah (dan insyaAllah sampe sekarang) gue titipin kepercayaan gue

i did mention that i've moved on without regrets but do you ever miss whatever we were? (also i'm sorry that i'm a really really bad conversationalist)

Labels: random

• 17, student
• i have alter egos
• english, indonesian, basic german & japanese
• part time graphic and web designer
• i like pointless lists like this
• lazy af
• i reached nirvana once but 17 gyro dropped me back down to the pits of hell

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